That's Who I Am by Jayden Brooks.pdf

To Ze Man and my children: Your unwavering support made

this possible. I love you all!

A special thanks to Piper, Carol and Zev—you’ve each taught

me so much. Your friendship, and encouragement means the

world to me.

THAT’S WHO I AM · Jayden Brooks

That’s Who I Am

“I CAN ’ T believe you said that to her! Why are you always such

a freak?”

God…. I wished I knew the answer. Helpless, I watched my

brother Conner storm out of my room, slamming the door

behind him. He’s older by a whole two minutes, and my polar

opposite in every way. He’s big to my small, handsome to my

plain, smart to my stupid, strong to my weak—it’s amazing

how two people who shared a womb can be so different.

He’s my hero, but he’d be horrified if I ever actually told

him so. See, he sorta hates my guts. I’m not trying to make you

feel bad for me or anything; honestly, I don’t blame him. I’ve

made his life hell. I don’t mean to do it. It’s been called “open

mouth, insert foot syndrome,” but it’s not that simple.

My name is Jared Winters, I’m twenty-three years old, and

I am as Conner says… a freak. Embarrassing stories have been

told for entertainment for as long as I can remember. There are

pictures and videos galore documenting my progression to my

current level of freakness.

Life wouldn’t be so bad if I could say I’m some übersmart,

frustrated, and misunderstood genius who can’t relate to mere

mortals. Yeah, no can do—I’m a less than average Joe in the

smarts department. Conner, he’s the smart one. He got into

college on a full academic scholarship and graduated with

honors. I’m so proud of him. I just know better than to tell him.

I, on the other hand, went to technical school for heating,

ventilation, and air conditioning… but it didn’t take. The whole

THAT’S WHO I AM · Jayden Brooks

family assumes I dropped out because I’m such a loser—there

was more to it, but why bother explaining when the truth

would’ve made me look much worse.

Luckily, old man Carlson hired me five months ago to be

his night crew at Carlson’s Pharmacy and Supplies, paying me

a little over minimum wage. Not a bad gig. Unloading the truck

and stocking the shelves overnight while the place is closed.

Pretty much the perfect job for me. No risk of fucking up. Doc

Carlson locked me in each night and left me to do my thing.

The crotchety bastard didn’t talk to me much, which I suppose

is the only reason I still have the job.

The knock at my bedroom door surprised me, since it was

unusual to have a second interruption to my normal sleep

schedule, not that I could sleep after the encounter with

Conner anyway. “Yeah? Come in.”

My dad, John, walked in. “What did you say to Sophie?

Your brother stormed out of the house screaming that your fat

mouth struck again.” He sounded resigned, and I really hated

to have to tell him.

“I was sleeping, and I answered my cell when she called.”

“And?” When I didn’t answer quickly enough, he growled

and I rushed into speech.

“She asked if Conner was here when I got home this

morning.” This was where things must have gone wrong, and I

hesitated.

“Spit it out, Jared! What did you tell her?”

“I said yeah, he was here. Then she asked how I knew for

sure. I told her I knew because I needed to wash up before bed,

but I had to wait for him and Amber to finish in the shower.”

Oh crud, I could almost see the light bulb over my fat head

THAT’S WHO I AM · Jayden Brooks

flickering to a glow as I finally caught a clue. And that was how

it usually worked for me—in the moment I wouldn’t realize how

something I said was exactly the wrong thing, but later…. I

figured it out. Well, most of the time. Okay, not most of time….

Whatever.

“What the fuck, Jared?” His face turned a mottled red, a

vein pulsed at his temple, he clenched his fists, and I realized

he was tempted to strike me—and yeah, that sucked. A lot.

“Why would you tell his pregnant girlfriend he was in the

shower with another girl? He’s your brother! You’re supposed

to have his back, or is that it? Do you hate him? Is that what

this is about? Are you jealous of him and this is how you get

revenge?”

Wait… what? Jealous? I started to consider the

accusation, but my stomach jumped in fear. Oh man, keep it

together . Dad tended to strike out when he sensed my fear.

Like a wild beast, he went on the attack when he caught a

whiff. Yeah, if my dad had a superpower, that would be it, and,

boy, did it suck. I darted a peek at his hands… fisted, flexing

and clenching. Oh fuck, this wasn’t going to blow over, and I

seriously started to get nervous.

I wasn’t entirely awake yet, not after having only slept

for three hours before Sophie called. So my brain function

crept along at a snail’s pace. But not answering or saying

something quick would trip his temper further. “She’s

pregnant?” I blurted out, the only thing I could think to say.

This was horrible. Poor Conner. I hadn’t meant to ruin things

for him with Sophie.

My dad took two quick steps forward, grabbed my T-shirt,

and shook me. “That’s all you heard? She’s pregnant? How

about the rest of it? Huh? Conner’s been saying since y’all were

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