How To Be Uber-Feminine And Ladylike
(And Attract High Value Men)
By: Melina Dean
Table of Contents
Preface – 1
Introduction – 4
Imagine…Fantasy to fact, mediocre to majesticWhy you are reading this courseWhat this course will do for youWhat this course will not do for you
Finding femininity – 11
You are a womanDefining femininityThe feminine mindsetHow to be more feminineHow to feel more feminineHow to look more feminine
Attracting, captivating and connecting with your alpha male – 28
Traits of the alpha maleAttracting and connecting with your own high value alpha manMistaken intentThe desires of the alpha maleHow to captivate your high value manHow to keep your high value husband attracted to you and in love with you
Case Study – 47
Is it OK to be a “high maintenance” woman on the path to femininity?
How to be ladylike – 52
Ladylike behavior and mannersLadylike etiquetteThe mindset of an uber-feminine lady
Benefits of being feminine and ladylike – 74
Common misconceptions about femininity – 77
Modern challenges to being feminine and ladylike – 81
The path to femininity – 85
Are ladies born or cultivated?Things young ladies should know
Finishing school for refined femininity – 92
Conclusion – 95
The words of my ever-loving grandmother echo in my ears even today: “A lady does not “grab” the whole hand to shake it. Rather, she politely extends her hand and gently holds the other person’s hand with her fingers. At no time should you shake a person’s hand, but instead provide an acknowledging, but minimal squeeze.”
I smile even today whenever I recall the pride with which my grandmother spoke the words.
It was something that she had been taught at “finishing school,” and was something that had no doubt been passed down the line from the ladies in the family.
My grandmother smiled, appreciative that she could pass on the knowledge of a period that accepted and expected ladies to act accordingly, and to be feminine and ladylike as they went about their business.
Mind you, dove, it was not during some demure period of time that I was privy to receiving this significant learning. This was the late 1980’s, a time in which the manner of ladylike behavior began to experience its many challenges.
Of course, it is important to recognize that the way in which people present themselves is easily influenced by the time in which they live and the experiences in which they find themselves.
It is, however, not unreasonable to appreciate that ladylike conduct should and does hold a special reverence in any society in any period of time.
There is a special elegance and charm that ladylike and feminine attributes contribute to both the personal household, the workplace and the social occasion with friends, although it’s unfortunate that some people still don’t actually seem to “get it.”
In some ways, society diminishes the subtleties of femininity and ladylike behavior – by associating it with near ankle-length skirts, tucked in shirts, mini cardigans and short white socks aka the Hollywood movies of the fifties.
However, would there be anything truly wrong with that, given that it signified a time in which femininity was more greatly aligned with the expectations of that period?
Today, there are many women like me and you, dear heart, who appreciate the values of past eras and continue with the style of appearance from those by-gone eras. :)
They are a wonderful reminder of when being “feminine” and “ladylike” was a natural state rather than a thought-provoking topic.
Times do change though, and sadly, natural styles and traits of feminine characteristics face greater challenges to maintaining the role of being ladylike in a modern era.
The influences around young women in particular to “party like the boys” and to encourage public displays of raucous outburst, disrespect and a showing of poor self-worth, all require an effort and personal commitment from them to switch off the noise and regain that level of self-respect that is found from within.
Unfortunately, the terms “feminine” and “ladylike” today tend to conjure images of weakness and frailty, perhaps even ‘daintiness’ depending on a person’s experience with the subject.
These are not terms or phrases that are widely handed around in Western society, where both sexes in our world are actively encouraged to speak their mind, know their rights and aggressively pursue anything they want in a “winner-takes-all” fashion.
Society – with its progressive lifestyles – certainly influence the way in which people interact and engage with each other, which in turn impacts the way in which we feel about ourselves and how we want to be perceived by others.
Sadly, in our modern world now, women vying for high-powered jobs must be “tough” in order to be able to match it with the men.
Many professional females wear mannish looking power-suits, are highly-paid and independent, delay commitment and snub family life in exchange for the red sports car, the lofty apartment and the freedom to be themselves and to do what they like, regardless of what others may think.
Today, many women believe that offensive action is the key to getting what you want, dove. :(
Even my grandmother’s feminine and ladylike ways and demure handshake have retreated, making way for an upfront, “no nonsense” manner, and a full hand grip that signifies the assertiveness of the modern world.
Yet that in no way does that minimalize the contributions of my grandmother, and others of her generation who have carried the torch for femininity and ladylike charm from one generation to the next.
It may be necessary to adapt to changing social dogmas, but the values of being a lady can indeed be everlasting!
By following the information that is shared in this course, you may surprise yourself at just how open you are to the wonderful discovery which reveals how you can be “uber-feminine” and ladylike and attract high vale men – regardless of your past or the period in which you now live!
Imagine…
You hesitate briefly in the doorway entrance to the decorated room. Your gentleman partner for the occasion looks at you with appreciation and approval. You glance casually around the room, your poise apparent.
You catch the eye of another guest, a woman loudly engaged in conversation with a small group of distinguished looking men in suits. You offer her a polite yet confident smile.
She awkwardly returns the gesture and stares at you, seeming to momentarily forget her place in the scene in which those around her appear bored with her manner.
You feel calm and relaxed, and you make your entrance into the line of sight of other guests.
Heads turn toward you.
People fixate their attention on you, but this is now a normal occurrence.
You are used to the interest and admiration that naturally finds its way to you from both friends and strangers.
The room is yours to own, and you know how to effortlessly work it.
Your presence attracts regard and more than a hint of curiosity.
When in your company, you are someone that women secretly need to emulate and gentlemen openly desire to meet.
You have an air of distinction, and a spirit of genuine and ladylike elegance.
You are a feminine, high value woman who is comfortable in any situation, a characteristic with which you capture your audience and command their respect.
The room compliments you, and those with whom you engage in conversation feel better about themselves.
You are interested in people, non-judging of them, are generous of your time with them, and sensitive to any concerns that they may share with you.
People find you to be beautiful in appearance, dear heart, but more beautiful by nature, and you leave a lasting impression on the occasion because of the uber-feminine and ladylike woman you have become. :)
“You do not need to tell people that you are feminine and ladylike. They already know.”
The lady in our illustration is not from the pages of a small girl’s novella, nor is it from the deeply hidden desires of a young woman’s diary.
It is the real life story of many women who have aspired to be more than ordinary, and who have taken the steps necessary to change their fairytale of femininity to fact!
Feminine women are majestic in their approach to life. They are giving, unselfish, and their thoughts are always for the betterment of others.
It is a special type of woman, lovely, that resonates with the path of femininity and ladyhood.
Femininity and ladyhood is not something that can be forced upon anyone and as such, no person can push a book in front of you and demand that you follow its teaching.
What a person can do however – and which is my desire for you with this course – is to share with you and make you aware of the wonderful values that you are blessed to experience each day that you are in the feminine mindset. :)
You may already have the nuances that make a lady feminine and distinct from those around her.
You may just now be embarking on a personal journey of self-discovery to understand how you can bring out your femininity and the best in everything you have to offer.
You may be responding to that call which comes from deep within many a woman, and resonates within her a desire to explore her femininity to the greatest levels.
You may be feeling a core need to accomplish more in your relationships and your daily life, and have an aching desire to reach new milestones in who you are as a woman and what you represent!
Whatever your personal reason for being guided here, dear one, it is important that you know that you will find what it is that you need at this turning point in your life.
From the instruction that is lovingly contributed inside these pages, you will discover that there is so much more that you can achieve as a lady of substance, class and femininity – in looks, attitude and behavior. :)
This course will not feed you pages of random musings that you can print out and hang on your wall.
It will not try to persuade you to bother your female neighbor to follow you along your path to becoming an uber-feminine and high value lady.
It will not judge you or be critical of your beliefs or where your decisions or life choices have positioned you today.
It will not mock you if you are skeptical of its content, dove.
It will not lie to you and suggest trickery that you can cheat your way to being feminine, and it will not infer that you can become ladylike in an instant without allowing for the proper attention to detail or without the correct instruction.
This course will not in any way suggest, that you cannot, without thoughtfulness and consideration, be the best woman that you can be within yourself and for those with whom you share your life. :)
This course will serve you.
It will provide clarity to those on the path of femininity and ladyhood.
It will inspire you to explore your abilities, to believe in yourself and to trust in a higher power.
It will highlight your right to self-confidence, and it will encourage you to accept that you are a high value woman of substance with everything to offer yourself and your loved ones.
It will reveal the unique qualities that are ladylike, and it will inspire you to challenge and educate yourself to become and to live the brilliant and self-assured life of value that you deserve.
It will show you how to be comfortable in your role as a sound, capable and desired woman for whom there is a definite purpose in family and society, lovely.
This course will, with your honesty, enable your feminine mindset and empower you to stand strong and ladylike in a modern and challenging environment. :)
You are woman, however…
Do you believe that all women are feminine?
Maybe a clearer perspective would be obtained by asking that question to a man. :)
In any case, it is true that you are woman by birthright, by virtue of being female.
However, if you believe whole-heartedly that by being a woman, you are elevated to the status of being feminine without challenge, dove, let me ask you to consider the following…
“Woman” and “feminine” – they are identified as separate entities for a reason.
If your response is that “woman” and “female” are also separate from each other in wording, remember that “feminine” is also a separate term from “female.”
We do not think of a woman and say “she looks female.” However, we will make note of a woman who “stands out” because by dress, personality, or both, she has presented herself as feminine.
You were born female, and because of nature you grew into a woman.
The type of woman that you are determines if you have earned the title to be described as an “uber-feminine and ladylike woman.”
A feminine woman may be politely referenced at social occasions as being a “lady,” given her cultured behavior and the particular refinement in the way that she presents herself.
A feminine woman is indeed ladylike and refined in stature, cupcake. :)
“A lady is both woman and feminine, however a woman is not always feminine and ladylike.”
Around 1900 a lady was defined in terms of what one does or does not do. For example, “A lady never smokes. Only actresses and foreign women smoke.”
Where people tend to get confused with the feminine ideal is that they feel it is a “slight” on women who have not engaged the passion to pursue femininity as a lifestyle. (This is not the case. The true feminine woman considers herself to be “above” no other.)
The days of the Victorian era in which ladies were of privilege and class have been replaced by a modern world in which feminine women are instead “class ladies.” (The distinction is subtle in wording, but clearly defined.)
The feminine woman of today can be, and generally is, a class lady without the influence of wealth or social standing.
Femininity is about improving yourself as a woman so that you can be the very best high value woman for yourself and for those closest to you, with particular effort made for the special man in your life.
Defining femininity
How then, do we define “femininity?”
Being feminine is not something that you can identify as an object with a label. (Society encourages that we label everything because that helps to maintain order within the grand scheme. You cannot, however, label something that comes from a calling within.)
Femininity is not an attribute that is connected to being pretty or dressing well.
A feminine woman can certainly be and do those things, but the outer shell is a reflection of what is coming from the internal core of the woman.
Femininity is an essence that radiates from women who have a vibrant understanding of who they are, dove, and what they can contribute to the world in which they exist.
The feminine essence is soft, gentle, kind, and giving.
It is a consciousness that fills a woman with a love for herself that she can share with family, friends and strangers alike. :)
It is a woman’s understanding that she is important and that she matters, and it is an awareness that allows her to embrace her feminine power without reservation or hesitation.
A feminine woman has insightful clarity of what it means to be a “high value woman.”:)
She is self-confident, organized, educated, intelligent, and ladylike.
This high value woman is genuine, charming, creative and happy. She is the perfect match for her ideal man; where he is dominating and controlling, she is nurturing and cooperative.
She has standards by which she conducts herself, but of course she is slave to none of them!
“A feminine woman is exactly who she wants to be, and she can be anything that she wants.”
A feminine woman has the mindset of a high value lady, dear heart.
It is only the quality of class ladies who can naturally project how they feel innately, without needing to force any degree of positivity. It is just a part of their natural being.
As a feminine and high value woman, if you were to try to reject your need to be feminine, you would be hiding an essential part of who you are, which would ultimately impact your personal happiness and your relationships with others.
The feminine mindset is one that has no desire to discard her natural personality.
It is displayed eagerly, very aware of its attraction of those with whom it encounters. :)
As a feminine and high value woman, you treasure relationships above material gain.
You enjoy interacting with people and it is something that you do with ease. It is a part of your femininity that naturally draws people to you.
Men in particular find you captivating, which in itself is exciting to you, but not at all surprising.
As a lady with a high feminine energy and persona, you know how capable you are of being seductive and attracting men from all levels of value.
You know that you do not need to be stunning to gain their attention, dove, you just need to project your sensuality and feminine essence to produce the desired effect.
The feminine mindset is one that projects this confidence and knowledge.
Unlike those women who see femininity as a prisoner to protocols, you feel alive and free, dove, and you can not imagine living your life to any other standards!
As a feminine and high value woman you are not dictated to by anyone, and the image that you convey and the manner with which you conduct yourself are the standards that you have determined for yourself.
Your image and manner represent an established set of conscious morals, and they usurp the alternative that encourages females to take on the roles and characteristics of the masculine energy.
As a genuinely feminine woman, you are not doing anything that is foreign to you or with which you feel uncomfortable.
You really are a high value woman because that is what you need to be, and the rewards of such are what you deserve. :)
You respect the rights of others to be as they wish.
You do not denounce them or consider yourself “better.” (You simply have chosen a different direction which meets your needs and to which you can contribute. )
The path to femininity allows you to be emotional, vulnerable and at times chaotic, but it is one on which you are authentic and self-assured.
You are confident, particular about your personal presentation, and you are spontaneous and exciting.
Your feminine nature is one that has an openness and weakness about it, yet it is far from being weak in the traditional sense.
This is what makes this brand of femininity so attractive and alluring. (It may sound somewhat complex to outsiders, yet it is very natural to those who embrace it.)
It is trusting of others and it is giving to others, and it chooses to believe only in the best of other people.
The feminine mindset and nature is one that is adaptable, yet dependent on its masculine counterpart to which it is submissive without being subservient.
It enhances its partner’s energy of power and strength, and awakens and stirs the male energy to care for, protect and respond to its seductive charms.
The feminine nature favors a controlled manner, and is unique yet deliberate in the way that a lady speaks, walks and gestures.
The feminine and high value woman is poised at all times, and delightful and always smiling!
Her mannerisms are in no way forced; it comes from a natural state.
The feminine and ladylike woman has an “air” of lightness and softness, lovely, and she is contented and grateful to be a woman who is refined and has so much to offer. :)
A feminine woman avoids cursing and swearing, and she is never a burden to those around her.
She is polite and never intentionally ignores anyone who seeks her attention.
She is very much aware that her outward appearance is a reflection of her queenly nature, and as a result is not one to scowl or frown – even if her mood is not ideal at the time – and she will not display arrogance or speak harshly.
The feminine woman is sensitive to the needs and delicacies of others.
She is proud to be a woman.
She is happy with being a wife and mother, and enjoys her career as a homemaker if she is married and not required to work.
How to be more feminine
When you are committed to traveling the feminine path, your journey will not always be completely unchallenged.
You may at times find yourself disappointed at the actions of those females who are not as enlightened as you with what it means to be a high value and ladylike woman.
You may feel undermined, and sometimes under-appreciated. (I understand, sister!)
While I have already covered in detail what it means to be a feminine woman, the following applies if you are in need of some reassurance and want to work on your femininity, or if you are new to the lifestyle and require some fast start guidance. :)
Be playful
A young girl is naturally playful, lovely. (So wisely take up any opportunities to flirt with your man and to be playful with him and your girl friends.)
Being feminine is about enjoying yourself as a female.
Walking on your light and playful side when you can keeps your spirits high and remind yourself how blessed you are to be a feminine and high value woman.
Be accepting
Appreciate not only the values of those around you, but more significantly, appreciate yourself, and all that has been given to you.
Enjoy the body that was designed for you and reward it with feminine clothing, healthy eating and beneficial exercise.
Accept and be proud of your accomplishments and excited for what your future holds. :)
Be confident
Nothing makes a statement that boldly shouts “high value woman” like one who beams with confidence, dear heart.
Your confidence shows in your walk, the way you speak, your posture, and your total demeanor.
Being a feminine woman is all about being confident in your place in the world and what you have to offer it.
Be of faith
Some people may call you “mysterious,” and that you should be to a certain extent as a feminine and high value woman, but you should also be a calm, polite, gentle and spiritual woman.
You should have your faith, and you should be unresponsive to criticism.
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