[Psychology Communication NLP] Reading Body Language.pdf

Reading body language

<<< >>>

Doesn't matter whether she is interested in you, you'll make her interested eventually anyway:)

But look for these signs to show you whether you're already making progress:) It's also fun to

look for these signs as a by-stander, either in everyday situations or for example in a bar -

when the guy earnestly believes he is being sooo smooth but the woman he is talking to isn't

displaying any of the signs presented below, you can't help but have a chuckle about it:)

Her lips:

• Big smiles with upper and lower teeth showing with a relaxed face.

• Biting of the lips or showing of the tongue, licking her lips or touching of her front teeth.

• She wets her lips, some women use only a single-lip lick, wetting the upper or lower lip,

while others run the tongue around the entire lip area.

• She puts her fingernail between her teeth.

• She protrudes her lips and thrust her breasts forward.

Her eyes:

• She gazes in your eyes with deep interest and her pupils are dilated.

• She raises both eyebrows exaggeratedly for a couple of seconds, this is often

combined with a smile and some eye contact.

• She winks at you while talking to you or winks at you from a distance.

• While talking to you, she blinks more than usual, fluttering her eyelashes.

• Eyebrows raised and then lowered, then a smile indicates interest in you.

Her hair:

• She pushes her fingers through her hair. This can be one hand movement or more of a

stroking motion.

• She twirls her hair around her fingers while she is looking at you.

• She is throwing her hair back off her shoulders.

Her clothing:

• If she is wearing clothes that show her nipples underneath and you notice they are

getting perky and erect.

• The hem goes up to expose a little more leg.

• She is fixing, patting or smoothing her outfit to make herself look better.

While she is seated:

• She moves in time to the music, with her eyes on you.

• She starts sitting straight up and her muscles appear to be firm.

• She is sitting with her legs open.

• She sits with her legs crossed in a manner to reveal her thigh.

• Her legs are rubbing against each other.

• Her legs are rubbing against the leg of the table.

• Her crossed leg is pointed towards you or if that same leg is rocking back and forth

towards you.

Her hands:

•

She exposes the palms of her hand facing you.

•

While talking to you, she rests an elbow in the palm of one hand, while holding out her

other hand, palm up.

• She rubs her wrists up and down.

• She sits with one hand touching one of her breasts.

• She rubs her chin or touches her cheek. This indicates that she's thinking about you

and her relating in some way:)

• She is fondling keys, sliding hands up and down a glass, playing with toys or other

things on the table.

• She plays with her jewellery, especially with stroking and pulling motions.

• She touches your arm, shoulder, thigh, or hand while talking to you (in case you

already haven't started kino yourself, dumbass:).

• She is pretending to look at her watch as you pass her.

Her voice

• She raises or lowers the volume of her voice to match yours.

• She speeds up or slows down her speaking to match yours.

• She laughs in unison with you.

• In a crowd she speaks only to you and focuses all of her undivided attention on you.

Micellaneous:

• She mirrors your body language and body positions.

• Her skin tone becomes red while being around you.

• She blows smoke straight out from between her lips and toward you.

• She leans over and speaks into her friend's ear, just like in junior high school.

• She is standing with her head cocked slightly at an angle, one foot behind the other,

hips slightly thrust forward.

• At a party - every once in a while she seems to appear out of nowhere in your vicinity

and if you move to another spot, soon she appears out of nowhere again, you catch her

glancing in your general direction (actually, glancing at YOU dummy!:), she bumps into

you… accidentally, touches you… accidentally etc:)

When talking to a girl, these are some of the more important signs to watch for:

• Can you keep conversation going with her?

• Does she react well to kino ?

• Does she touch you?

• Does she laugh?

Now I don't have to explain what the answer "yes" to these questions means, do I:)

From "Sweep women off their feet...": "All these signs usually tell you that the girl is captivated

by your charms. But before you get there, chances are that her body language changes as the

discussion progresses. Make sure that you watch her closely and as soon as you get a sign

that should be an indication that you are on the right track, keep going in that direction. If the

opposite happens, just change the subject and see what happens."

The really gorgeous and beautiful girls however very seldom get around to displaying the signs

of interest described above. They simply don't have to, as they are used to getting some

attention already long before that. With such girls you have to be on a lookout for the initial and

thus much more subtle signs of interest. One example of this would be a gorgeous girl simply

looking at your face. Obviously people tend to look at what or whom they like to look at. But

whereas an average girl first just looks at your face and then progresses into the more overt

signs of interest described above, looking at your face from time to time might be the only sign

of interest you'll ever get from the most beautiful of girls.

So if you think you're not getting any signs of interest from beautiful girls - you are, but you just

can't see them well enough yet.

Don Steele: "Here are signs of interest sent from across the room. Most are applicable to both

sexes. The sequence of the list approximates the courtship sequence.

I'M INTERESTED

Sidelong glance(s)

Looks at you a few times

Holds your gaze briefly

Downcast eyes, then away

Posture changes to alert

Preens, adjusts hair, attire

Turns body toward you

Tilts head

Narrows eyes slightly

Smiles

Matches your posture

Eyes sparkle

Licks her lips

Thrusts breasts

DON'T BOTHER ME

Never sneaks a peek

Fleeting eye contact

Looks away quickly

Looks away, eyes level

Posture unchanged

Does no preening

Turns body away

Head remains vertical

Eyes remain normal

Neutral, polite face

Posture unchanged

Normal or dull eyes

Keeps mouth closed

Sags to de-emphasize breasts

In Summary. Frequency of eye contact, the more the better. Amount of time she, or he, holds

your gaze, the longer the better. How she breaks off eye contact, down before away is great!

Shine of the eyes, the brighter the better. Direction of body, toward you, good, away, bad.

Overall posture, erect and alert are good. Tilt of head, vertical is bad, increased tilt is great.

Where the drink is held, high in front as a barrier, that's bad. Hand activity, clenched,

squeezing or pinching is bad, open, caressing or stroking is great.

Most of us are slightly afraid as well as somewhat excited in settings where social interaction

is expected and required. So, most people do not sit or stand in an open posture. But, during

courtship, the more open the other person's posture is, the more open that person is to you

and your advances. And, the more open you are, the more likely the other person is to open

up to you. First Conversation Signals. Men, pay attention to all the ways she communicates

during the first few minutes as you talk with her.

KEEP TALKING

Alert, energetic

Pupils dilated

Gradually opens posture

Lowers drink

Touches self gently

Caresses objects

Crosses and uncrosses legs

Flashes of palm

Crossed legs steady

Dangles shoe on toe

Hands never touch face

Touches you any reason

Feet firmly on floor

Loosens anything

Leans forward

Steady hands, feet

MOVE ON

Tense, restless

Normal or small pupils

Posture remains closed

Keeps drink high

Grips or pinches self

Squeezes, taps objects

Legs remain crossed

Back of hand gestures

Swings crossed legs

Keeps shoe on

Touches face

Never touches you

Feet on edges or toes

Tightens anything

Leans away

Tapping, drumming

In social settings, most of us start out in a

closed, defensive posture because we're a bit

apprehensive. A closed posture feels safe.

When the person you are talking with shifts to

a more open posture, it signifies trust and

comfort. That person is, literally, opening up to

you and what you have to offer.

It takes courage to open up to the other

person. If you go first, she, or he, will usually

follow your move from closed to slightly more

open. Open up in, slow, gradual shifts of

posture.

A variation of mirroring is discussed in the articles dealing with eliciting values and using trance-

words - that is verbal mirroring. But a better-known variation of mirroring is physical mirroring.

Actually, you've most probably been doing it all your life without knowing it but once you know

how to harness the power of mirroring consciously - its like young Skywalker recognizing and

harnessing the power of the Force:).

Notice how people that seem to be engaged in an interesting conversation - they are excited

about what they themselves are saying, they are about to say and what the other is saying, in

other words, they have rapport - seem to take the same poses, whether sitting or standing up.

When sitting, either side by side or on opposites sides of the table - one leans forward and then

the other leans forward as well, one leans backward and then the other leans backward as well,

they cross their hands in the same manner, tilt their heads similarly, seem to be having similar

side-activities (one playing with his keychain, the other with her pen), etc etc. Are they directing

their actions consciously? No, all their energies and concentration is on the discussion,

everything else happens subconsciously. But actually, they don't even have to be having a

discussion, they may just both be thinking their own thoughts… and still you can see mirroring

going on - they make the same movements almost the same time without seemingly without

having any perceivable interaction with the other person.

What is all this knowledge good for? Well, mirroring can be used as a tool for building rapport.

Being similar or having someone similar in your vicinity creates a feeling of ease, comfort, being

understood, protected (should there appear a threat of any sort, there's two of you now:) etc. So

you can use the power of mirroring to create these feelings in the one you are mirroring, she'll

subconsciously link all those feelings to you (after all, you are the one mirroring her:) and

rapport is going to develop between you without you having lifted a finger (unless she lifted a

finger and you had to mirror her:).

How, whom and from where should I mirror? Whom - that's easy, the girl you want of course:)

How - assuming the same posture, doing the same movements with your hands, in all respects

using your body in a similar fashion to hers. More aspects of mirroring are:

• Following - doing the movements after she did them. Note that although your mind

screams, "This is stupid! I'm going to get caught! She MUST see me doing the same

movements! This is ridiculous!” don't' listen to it, fight it, it is the voice of the Dark Side!:)

Why? Because they NEVER NOTICE it! Instead, they feel more comfortable and relaxed

in connection with you, and eventually (that's why you even bothered, right?:) - more

drawn to you.

• Pacing - doing the movements the same time with her. Yes. Sounds impossible? Well it

isn't. Have you ever noticed how you sometimes happened to do the same things at

exactly the same time with another person? Maybe yawn and then have a laugh about

it:)? Because you thought it was accidental? Well it wasn't, you had reached the second

stage of mirroring:) (Yawning is not a good example though; the last thing you want is

the girl yawning with you:). But there's nothing magical or supernatural about doing the

movements at the same time, because essentially the second phase is a stage of

transition between the first and the third. In mirroring there's always a leader and a

follower. So far she has been leading you (because you've been following her) but now

you are coming to the stage when YOU will be leading her! And the inevitable stage

between following and leading is pacing - you are doing movements simultaneously.

• leading - if you've done your mirroring right, have followed and paced, then you are

ready for a revelation. You can lead! Try it. Cough. She coughs. Scratch your elbow.

Well maybe she'll scratch her shoulder instead of her elbow, big deal:) In addition to

being a tool of building rapport, you can lead her into doing some pretty fun stuff. Do a

movement with your hands mimicking the parting of legs (this should be associated with

something you are talking about, if it looks strange, she'll notice it and you don't want her

conscious attention on your movements, keep her mind busy with what you're talking

about). Watch her legs part:) Have fun:)

Another more advanced aspect, although controversial as to the effectiveness of it, is mirroring

her blinking her eyes and breathing. Being able to mirror her breathing and blinking her eyes is

supposed to create an even deeper rapport, but first of all - trying to see when she breathes

might seem like you staring at her breasts (and you would NEVER do that, would you?:); and

secondly - all the concentration required to detect and match your breathing and blinking with

hers will take away much-needed attention from what she is saying, how is she responding to

your patterns, values, kino etc, so eventually this could do more harm than good.

As to from where to mirror - the most common situation is when you're talking to her. But you

can also try mirroring from a distance, say in a classroom, meeting, night-club or cafeteria, just

make sure she has a chance to subconsciously detect you mirroring her, in other words, she

must be able to see you (so you can forget about mirroring her while watching her take a

shower through a peep-hole:).

A technique of creating instant rapport by "faking" body-language. Tom, ASF : "I just finished

another book about body language, and they mention several times that when someone is

interested in a discussion, they tilt their head slightly. I thought that now that I knew when

someone was interested, maybe I could do the same to "simulate" my deep interest in what they

say. And... it works! When someone's like "and you know, my dog just got a new collar and it fits

wondefully with the living room furniture; the shade of green is just the same as the kid's

bedroom carpet and that's great because..." - usually you would be using a few words they said

(dog, collar, etc) and using the same adjectives (wonderful, great, etc) and ask something

Plik z chomika:

Inne pliki z tego folderu:

Inne foldery tego chomika: